A few weeks ago, I was asked to write a letter to my cousin as she prepared for her confirmation. The letter was to explain how my faith impacted my life. When I sat down to write that letter, the words simply wouldn’t flow onto the page. I made a list of times when my faith was important, but for some reason, I could not put into words what my faith in Jesus Christ meant to me.
As someone who loves to write, this frustrated me. I tried to blame it on the 24-hour nausea I was experiencing in the first trimester of pregnancy. I now realize I couldn’t write that letter because I didn’t quite understand what my faith meant to me. I think I do now.
It means taking risks for the Lord despite fear, anxiety, and (what seems like) rational thinking.
For the last two years, my husband and I have spent each spring debating whether or not I should continue teaching. Last spring, we both agreed we felt the Lord was leading me to resign from my position as a high school English teacher. We prayed and looked to Scripture (always hearing the same thing), but we debated for too long, and it came to the point we decided to give it another year, despite something inside us saying we needed to make a change.
Around Christmas, we re-opened the conversation, which had never really been closed. We prayed and again looked to Scripture. We asked close family members and friends for prayer as well. In every daily devotional sent to our emails or found in the books we read, in every song we heard on Air1, in every message at church, in every scripture reading during our individual quiet times, we heard the same thing, “It’s time to let go and give it all to Me.”
Looking back at the process, God repeatedly spoke to us individually and together, urging us to stop simply saying, “God will provide if we follow his will,” and take the leap.
His final push was at the Kansas Spring FCA Conference. Three other adults and I took a small group of kids to Rock Springs at the end of March. I had told myself I wanted to focus on the kids and how to be a better FCA leader and try not to focus on my decision. God had other plans.
He did show me how to be a better leader–to lead by example, take a risk for him, and share the experience with others. Everything that happened that weekend confirmed God has something else in store for me, but before He shows me, I must show Him my faith.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve felt that same message, and I’ve begged God for a little sneak peek of what He has in store, even trying to create a plan on my own. However, He continues to say, “Jump first, I’ll catch you.”
When I started this blog, I considered it a jump. Putting my writing online and then actually telling people about it seemed like a big jump for me. That was more like a little hop over a mud puddle compared to what I did today. I really jumped today. It feels like an off-a-cliff kind of jump or maybe out of a plane. Today, I turned in my letter of resignation.
I don’t know what will happen next, but there is not a doubt in my mind or heart that God will be there. He will catch me, He will throw me into new situations, He will lead me, and I am ready to follow.
Originally posted April 8, 2015
NOTE: Surrendering to God's will is a daily commitment. Our decision to follow Christ requires giving our plans over to Him again and again. For more encouragement on this topic read The Dreaded Red Pen - Submitting to God's Will.